To remind ourselves that Abtestudonia constitutes its very own vertebrate class among tetrapods, we need only recall that no fish can live out its life wriggling on dry land. Despite their medieval classification as “fish” and a superficial resemblance, the armored abtestudonians or terrapisks are even less dependent on water than amphibians, and glean moisture only in small, salty concentrations, such as plump but tiny rodents and lizards, sated hematophagous insects, and certain succulents. Nevertheless, a ventral array of plastrons connect to tough, paddle-like feet that are effective at propelling the creatures through sand and loose soil with movements that resemble “swimming” just enough to reinforce the misconception.