Scenes from the spa town of Vadtstul (capitol of Varstulla Minor), where the leisured class curb their vices in a bid for relief from shortness of breath, catarrh, and other pulmonary complaints. Here, measured eruptions of ivy, moss, and torpor may compel the more robust visitors to mimic the slow gait of the convalescents.

Years ago, an ordinance forbade any casinos, stunting the development of other resort fixtures: The ballroom is small and unremarkable; the theater deliberately bland. The Hydropalatz-Complex and the Thermal Colonnade (imposing structures devoted to therapeutic pursuits) have long embodied the entire town, sealing its reputation.

From a Vadtstul Tourism Council brochure: “The tube-root of the Moesian Arrowlily (Euxinodorus spiculata) [A] will partially convert into carbolimide (a substance with benefits akin to phenol) when smoke-dried [B]. Placed in the inspirator’s top chamber [C], the dried root bathes and expands in a prepared solution (generally 50% water, 45% alcohol, 3% camphor, 2% chloropallidol). A fine mist filters into the bottom chamber [D], where excess vapor departs the side duct [E] so that the mouthpiece [F] imparts the correct amount of medicated air to promote corporal ventilation [G].”

(All rumors of the root-vapor’s aphrodisiac effects remain unsubstantiated.)